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Ten Things NOT to Do if you Don't Want to Embarrass your Kids at School!

9/19/2011

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10. Trying to figure out which hand to wave with and which hand to hold your beer will embarrass your child.

9. Getting out in your bathrobe and hair not done is also a NO NO!

8. Dressing like your still in high school is like so totally not cool!

7. Dressing your child in clothes of the opposite sex will make them feel wrong.

6. Knowing when your child is to old is always good.

5. Forcing your child to give you a kiss goodbye will get him teased at school and he will not like you very much either.

4. Spitting in your hand and wiping it on your kids hair is not only gross but embarrassing.

3. Running over parents and children in the school parking lot is not funny! It is illegal!

2. Giving your child a wedgie is never OK even if all the kids are doing it.

1. Yelling after your kids is embarrassing for them but yelling "DID YOU CLEAN YOUR BUTT" will probably make them run away.

Keep the personal stuff at home.

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Top Ten Things NOT to do when you’re trying to meet Mr.Right!

9/6/2011

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Happy Tuesday Everyone, we hope your week is starting off good and to help you out we have our newest TOP TEN THINGS!

This week feature is Top Ten Things NOT to do when you’re trying to meet Mr.Right!

We know that some of you are not looking for a man or you are a man and we are very open to all kinds of relationships but for this one we figured we would go this way. We hope you all enjoy.

10. Never mention a past boyfriend when you meet a new guy. Also don't refer to how big their Johnson was and ask the new guy if he is up to the task.

9. If you want a man to know your serious and not slutty then asking him to touch your butt is not a good idea.

8. If You happen to be at the grocery store when you meet Mr. Right comparing his balls to the size of apples might offend him.

7. Mentioning that the two of you would make very pretty babies is a bad idea. We also suggest not making a composite picture to show him either.

6. No matter WHAT!!!!!
Never ever tell them they remind you of your mother.

5. It may have been cute when Reese Witherspoon did the bend and snap in Legally Blond does not mean it will help you get the digits.

4. This is very important if your looking for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now then please do not grab their junk when you first meet them.

3. Holding up your undies no matter how big or small is not going to get you a second date.

2. Never start the conversation with "I have this many cats"

The number one thing to NEVER do when looking for Mr. Right is Propose! Love at first sight is great but proposing minutes after you meet him is NOT GOOD even if it is with a beer.

A Special Thanks to Sheryl and Chris who are really engaged and their date is set for 11/11/11.

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Top Ten Tuesday

8/30/2011

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Have you ever known a stinker? Someone who smells as ripe as the cheese you ate in France? Someone who could use a little hygienic encouragement?
Well we have! We have come up with our Top 10 List of ways to let them know that they need to shower.

Number 10:
Spray them with every perfume tester you see!

Number 9:
Take them through the Auto car Wash and push them out of the car!

Number 8:
Give them gifts of scented bath items... for no special occasion whatsoever!

Number 7:
Take them to lunch with a friend who is in cahoots. Accidentally spill your water on them, and when they look down, have your friend attack them with a soapy sponge!

Number 6: Put sweet smelling scratch and sniff stickers all over them when they think you are giving them a makeover!

Honey don't scratch, it's just your new makeup!

Number 5: Whenever you are near a pool, "accidentally" push them in! Yes, all of them if they stink!

Number 4:
Make a necklace for them out of car tree air fresheners! Convince them it is the newest fashion craze!

Number 3:
Make a plan of attack with your other friend again. Get a bottle of dish soap and a Super Soaker. One of you sprays, one of you squirts soap, then you both attack with scrub brushes and clean her up!

Not just for child's play!

See even the dog thinks she stinks!

Number 2: Insist on Febreezing your house every time they come over, and "accidentally" spray them!

Number 1: Set a tiny fire, and when the fire department comes to put it out, "accidentally" push them in front of the hoses!

If any of these things have ever been done to you.... then by all means... SOAP AND WATER DO NOT COST VERY MUCH!!!!

XOXO
Kristina

PS. We love you anyway, even if you do stink!
PPS. Amanda does not stink.
PPPS. Much.
PPPPS. Just kidding. She has a real complex about stinking, so she, her husband and kids, and her house always smell fresh and yummy. She DID pay me to say this however! :)

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Top Ten things NOT to do when you are introduced to someone new

8/23/2011

3 Comments

We really wanted to capture the essence of what it would look like if you did this to people. Instead of scaring people on the street since we only do that sometimes. LOL
Thanks to some good friends who came to help and one unsuspecting girl who will never be the same after meeting us we got some great pictures.

Top Ten things NOT to do when you are introduced to someone new

This is our good friend Nichol who volunteered to help us with our post

10. Asking them to look at a sore is "Gross" even if they are a doctor

9. Yell in their face “How the Hell are ya?”
This may scare them

This is the poor unsuspecting girl who stopped by my house

This is actually our tattoo man TATTER TOT

8. Spit shake with them

7. Slap their ass

6. Assume they are a stripper and putting a dollar bill in their shirt

5. Assume they know the secret hand shake

4. Ask them for money or try and take their money

3. Lick their cheek

2. Pantsing them

1. The number one thing you should never do when you first meet someone is bump and grind.

When we had an unexpected visitor Tatter Tot thought he would do the real thing LOL Sorry its blurry I was laughing so hard

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The Sacred Village

Ten Things NOT to Do if you Don't Want to Embarrass your Kids at School!

Top Ten Things NOT to do when you’re trying to meet Mr.Right!

Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten things NOT to do when you are introduced to someone new

Top Ten things NOT to do when you are introduced to someone new

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